…and then, may I never use the b-word again. (Bllll-o-ggggg. What a stupid word.)
Reasons I should not have a blog:
- I do not own an expensive camera and I’m willing to admit that my picture-taking skills are merely average. So average, in fact, that I refuse to use the word ‘photography’ in reference to them.
- I’m not that into cooking.
- I am that into my kids, but so is every other parent on Earth. Where’s the originality in unconditional love?
- I admit that someone else is taking copious notes of the steals, deals, and coupon freebies around town and I’m not about to compete with something that already works just fine.
- While satisfying my need for an immediate oratory outlet, the time I spend writing here is taking away from time I that could be spent making $$ for about the same amount of characters.
- The chances of offending someone and losing my job as a result are always at a raging high. Though my current career path of stay-at-home-motherhood would seem safe from unexpected requests for resignation, it would not surprise me in the least to receive some sort of an anonymous certified letter as a result of something I said here: “We cannot say exactly what was said, nor who was directly offended, but we strongly suggest that you re-read your own words, figure it out, and remedy the situation. In the meantime, we believe your children would be safer somewhere else.”
Reasons I should have a blog:
- I am an American.
- I know how and when to use a semi-colon correctly.
- Aside from the $2/answer homework help and making sure my children live to see another day, I do not have a technical job right now.
- My kids, even without my commentary, are actually funny. They are not funny like, “I-love-them-so-much-everything-they-do-is-so-precious-and-funny-to-me-right-now.” They are obviously genetically predisposed to a sense of humor that is–albeit twisted and most appreciated by close friends and blood relatives–actually funny.
- Said close friends and blood relatives, slow to take offense and quick to forgive, have given me the strong urging to channel my powers for entertainment purposes. Getting paid in the future for a similar pursuit would be nice.
- My laughter:offense ratio is about 5:1; I’m willing to work under such odds.