I know it has been done before. In fact, I believe it has been written about and actually published and then endorsed by Clark Howard. But today it is my turn to complain on a strictly personal (and mostly economically, professionally, or otherwise academically uninformed) level. As if being the biggest asshole in the name of customer service wasn’t enough, today I have discovered yet another reason to add to my growing list of reasons to hate AT&T.
Reasons I Hate You, AT&T
- You seem to hire predominantly incompetent and, generally speaking, rude people. I can actually handle rude. I can often handle incompetent. It is the two-for-one that gets me. You cannot be both stupid and mean at the same time. Pick one. Hell, be both, just consider rotating days.
Example: MWF = idiot days. TRS = asshole days.
- When we signed up for $14.99/month Internet but no cable you charged us something like $52 for what was loosely labeled “start-up fees.” What this covered was the sending of a representative out to the house to check out our “DSL hookup capabilities.” I’m fairly certain the only thing he checked out that day was noting the fact that an actual house existed at the address provided. You then charged us the start-up fee for the first three months. (See complaint #1 for how those phone calls went.)
- Dropped call percentage rate. No details necessary. Your entire wireless customer base would back me on this one.
- Coverage area. I cannot understand how my phone seems to work with full bars in the gravel parking lot at church, but round the corner and hit some pavement and blammo, down to a half a bar if I’m lucky. There are no trees. The building is only one story tall. It’s like you’ve purposefully planted little AT&T black holes around the globe to secretly suck the soul from my cell phone at the exact moment I was considering complimenting you.
- The fact that I have to locate and click “View Bill” on three different pages for a total of three times before I’m actually able to view my bill online, and then, I have to expand each individual charge area to read exactly why I have a new $0.86 charge this month that wasn’t there last month. Which leads me to today’s addition of…
- Random charges which fluctuate monthly without warning nor explanation. Today I discovered the $3.74 Federal Universal Service Charge. *Aside: A little Google search taught me that this is a government mandated tax, basically, for the subsidizing of telecommunication fees to schools and libraries, and provision of affordable telecommunication for low income customers. In short, I have come to believe that you are a socialist, AT&T. (It could be noted here that the likelihood of your coverage area actually extending to within the walls of any public school on the planet is wishful thinking, at best. I’m also wondering why I’m not on the receiving end of such provisions.) You are also the only company actually charging customers a separate fee for this tax rather than simply building it in to the monthly service fee. This is like offering a salad as part of a meal then arbitrarily charging for croutons. And then changing the price of each crouton and varying the amount on the salad every month. Meanwhile, brother next to me is eating all the free croutons he can stomach and I’m apparently paying for it. All I’m saying is, not only will I pass on the croutons today, but I’d also prefer that I’m not hosting free-premium-salad-fixins-fest for a bunch of people who would be just as happy with saltines. Am I clear?
Rant for the day, over. Unfortunately, I can’t even speak personally to the upwards of three hours a week, four months in a row, wasted on the phone with AT&T over problems with our Internet bills. I automatically sic my professional bully on that job and once again thank my lucky stars that I married a man with the intestinal fortitude to handle it and the sadistic-sixth-bully sense to actually enjoy it once in a while.
Tomorrow, back to our regularly scheduled lighthearted posts, this time including reindeer.