Alternate title: Why Target Can Go to Hell

I do this every single time I have a baby.

Curse this store, I mean.

Of course Target is like the best one-stop-shop for all things baby related, so it makes the most sense for a registry…especially when people want to know where they give us a gift card (I mean, it would have been weird to say Harris Teeter, right?).

Anyway, I made an online order. Four items. Three car-seat protectors and a filler item (brown crib sheet, to be exact) to get my order over the $50 free shipping mark.

It was delivered immediately, with an invoice for all the items, but only two things in the bag. One car-seat protector. One brown crib sheet.

Probably an oversight by the packer.

Waited until AFTER the last possible shipping date (because I know how Target works), called, told them the problem.

The lady on the phone tried to tell me about five hundred thousand times that this was a problem with the carrier and I would need to contact UPS.

I think she was reading her line off a prompter because she kept repeating, “We have a tracking number that shows the item was delivered on Tuesday, November 6th and left on the front porch. If you have a problem with the carrier, you will need to contact UPS. I can give you the number.”

I kept repeating (in varying tones and inflections), “There is only one tracking number right? That means there was only one package delivered. I got that package. THAT PACKAGE did not have all the items in it.”

“Can you hold two minutes please? I need to verify.”

*HOLD*

“We have a tracking number that shows the item was delivered on Tuesday, November 6th and left on the front porch. If you have a problem with the carrier, you will need to contact UPS. I can give you the number.”

The above conversation happened a total of three times, seriously, each ending in a different form of feigned patience.

I’m not actually trying to take this out on you. I just don’t know that you understand what I’m saying here.

I’m not angry. But I’ve ordered from Target dot com before, and the packing slip only shows which items should be inside. This packing slip claims there are four items, when in fact, there are only two.

I don’t actually think this is UPS’s fault, unless UPS fills the order and packs the bag. Do you use UPS for packing AND shipping?

I finally said, “Does UPS put the items in the bag or does Target?”

She said, “Target.”

I said, “Can I please speak to someone else? Your supervisor, perhaps.”

*A couple more two-minute verification holds, where the hold music restarted from the beginning of the same song each time.*

I finally got someone to just credit me for the “lost” items. I should receive a gift card refund in my email. She gave me a reference number, though I can’t be sure I jotted it down correctly as it sounded like she was riding on the conveyor belt of the shipping assembly line while taking my call on speaker phone.

I will be pleasantly surprised if this is actually resolved in the next forty-eight hours.

Why Only Half of Us will Be Shopping at Target in the Afterlife

3 thoughts on “Why Only Half of Us will Be Shopping at Target in the Afterlife

  • The physical Target store is great. Their online store is the worst I have EVER dealt with. I loath them in fact. I have to order a great deal online because, well, I live in an Eskimo village in the Arctic. “Target dot com” has NEVER been reliable!

    1. At the risk of bullying the favored store of MANY of my adult (and now mom) friends, I have to disagree. I generally hate both the physical store and the online store. I mean, you’re right, when they have what I need or want, purchasing is a breeze. But if I have to step foot in or near the customer service area for anything, I nearly always spend twice as much time as is necessary and leave with elevated blood pressure. I can’t be sure, but I’m willing to believe that it is actually part of their training to engrain in all employees, “The customer is rarely right. Fight for Target, on all fronts. Every nickel and dime counts. Just take the money and run. There is no such thing as customer loyalty and/or satisfaction when you are the cleaner version of Walmart and have locations as great as we do.”

  • I worked as a guest service member at Target. I can account for the terrible online service. I had a lady come in three times–she had a baby boy, wanted blue owl sheets, and they kept sending her pink. Not to mention all the wrong size, wrong color items that came in.

    I will say, that during my stay there, there were a couple of people, including myself, that valued the guest. But I will say, we’re a rare bunch. We returned full grocery shopping items just to repurchase them for someone who forgot to use their red card. Certain grocery items (items that can spoil, or contaminated if opened) come up as red–defective–and so we have to scan a certain barcoded sticker. When it’s all said and done, we’ve went through thirty stickers, returned the items, resold them, and voided the stickers. Takes about 30 minutes with no setbacks. It’s dedication and patience, although other people may have responded with “tough, use it next time.”

    I’ve given returns to items considered nonreturnable, I’ve price matched when I shouldn’t have, and I gave coupons that didn’t fit the items. I’m too much of a people pleaser and I always find a way around having to say no.

    I had a really relaxed supervisor that honored the guest as much as she could. The rest loved saying no–some especially to frazzled, irate customers.

    But there are good people, and once you find them, the experience is wonderful. It’s just getting lucky and finally finding someone to work in your favor that’s difficult to find. And that’s anywhere you go.

    But I have my beef with Target. I was seasonal, constantly being told that I was the keeper, only to be let go in exchange for a socially awkward female who just happened to be dating a favored “veteran” target employee. Meh. Now, I’m mad all over again…

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